I am sensitive
as fuck. My feelings are easily hurt. I take offense to anything. And
this shit is hard to live with. I actually based my whole existence on
appearing unbothered at all costs. The first way I did this was through
passive aggression. I’d be throwing things, slamming doors, and
ignorning people, but swear that I wasn’t upset. Then there was the most
melodramatic “Fuck It” era where I threw people away for any, and every
reason. I am a Sagittarius sun with a Cancer moon and Pisces rising.
This sissy shit is in my chart, bro. It’s my life. I didn’t embrace it
until like… last month. So hey, here, I am standing in my truth: I AM
FUCKING SENSITIVE.
So what say ye to the sensitive girl that most people find ridiculously gregarious and outgoing, who is so afraid of making a mistake that she spends her days wasting time worrying about what she should do next, thus hindering her from doing anything? How do you help her? How do you say, “Hey boo, it’s cool. You got this.” You could ask my boyfriend or my best friend from college. They’ve actually got that shit down to a delicate science. They ask the right questions. They make suggestions without snark. They offer swift, sometimes shady, correction. They call me on my most favorite forms of bullshit.
But as for the rest of the world, how does this girl embrace her very real need for emotional vulnerability? Where is that space in the workplace, or sorority functions, or even in her closest familial relationships? She doesn’t. There is no space for such. There is saving face, and calling out sick, and panic attacks before Thanksgiving dinner. There is nowhere to fall apart and not be judged. Well actually, there is always a space in which she can fall apart, and that place is not usually met with snark and degradation; but it is most definitely on its way. Maybe it won’t surface until she passes a group of adult-aged high schoolers that may quite possibly orgasm upon hearing of anyone’s distress, failure, or general unhappiness. That judgment might not rear its ugly head until months later when the moment has passed, and the healing is well underway, but someone who loves you that “always has your best interest at heart” finds it necessary to “remind” you of why you can’t do what you’re planning to do.
So what they fuck is this girl to do, y’all? She should spend time in solitude. She should spend time smiling about things she’s only shared with herself. She should invest in her own feelings. She should drive around her neighborhood for 45 minutes finishing up conversations with her best friend. She should write emails to her boyfriend, bringing to life the things she’s too afraid to admit out loud. She should keep to herself everything that is too valuable to share. And some days, that’s everything. Some days, that’s nothing. But she should above all things guard her heart, for from it flows her very essence.
You can find Riv’s post here. She’s also writing a dating series called ” In the Meantime” about all the awesome and sometimes (usually) fuckery-filled things she’s experienced since her last long-term relationship. My favorite installment can be found on Madame Noire here, but to get the whole story (and you NEED the whole story), you should start with the entries on her blog.
So what say ye to the sensitive girl that most people find ridiculously gregarious and outgoing, who is so afraid of making a mistake that she spends her days wasting time worrying about what she should do next, thus hindering her from doing anything? How do you help her? How do you say, “Hey boo, it’s cool. You got this.” You could ask my boyfriend or my best friend from college. They’ve actually got that shit down to a delicate science. They ask the right questions. They make suggestions without snark. They offer swift, sometimes shady, correction. They call me on my most favorite forms of bullshit.
But as for the rest of the world, how does this girl embrace her very real need for emotional vulnerability? Where is that space in the workplace, or sorority functions, or even in her closest familial relationships? She doesn’t. There is no space for such. There is saving face, and calling out sick, and panic attacks before Thanksgiving dinner. There is nowhere to fall apart and not be judged. Well actually, there is always a space in which she can fall apart, and that place is not usually met with snark and degradation; but it is most definitely on its way. Maybe it won’t surface until she passes a group of adult-aged high schoolers that may quite possibly orgasm upon hearing of anyone’s distress, failure, or general unhappiness. That judgment might not rear its ugly head until months later when the moment has passed, and the healing is well underway, but someone who loves you that “always has your best interest at heart” finds it necessary to “remind” you of why you can’t do what you’re planning to do.
So what they fuck is this girl to do, y’all? She should spend time in solitude. She should spend time smiling about things she’s only shared with herself. She should invest in her own feelings. She should drive around her neighborhood for 45 minutes finishing up conversations with her best friend. She should write emails to her boyfriend, bringing to life the things she’s too afraid to admit out loud. She should keep to herself everything that is too valuable to share. And some days, that’s everything. Some days, that’s nothing. But she should above all things guard her heart, for from it flows her very essence.
You can find Riv’s post here. She’s also writing a dating series called ” In the Meantime” about all the awesome and sometimes (usually) fuckery-filled things she’s experienced since her last long-term relationship. My favorite installment can be found on Madame Noire here, but to get the whole story (and you NEED the whole story), you should start with the entries on her blog.
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